What a week....

So this week has been interesting. Let's start with last Friday. I had my second anatomy practical. I wasn't sure how the actual practical portions (the part where you go into lab and identify tagged structures) went, but then I get to the oral portion (don't make this dirty, it's not). I stand in line and wait my turn. I was going to let someone in front of me, when she insisted, no no you go. Sarcastically, I say "thanks." I was very scared and did not want to go but I guess the time had to come at some point. I walk into the room and there sits my favorite Eastern European anatomy professor (okay, so he's the only Eastern European anatomy professor, but still...). I say to him "please go easy on me." He says "don't worry, this is easy. please tell me the branches of the celiac trunk' (for all of you who don't know the celiac trunk is off the aorta...major blood vessels). Now let's backtrack to the previous evening. Standing in a study room, I draw out and label all of the branches off of celiac trunk and two other related trunks, plus the branches off the branches and say to my study group/friends "if I get this question in the oral portion, I will lay my head down and cry in relief." We don't actually know the questions before hand but we all try to guess them. So back to the room with the anatomy professor....yes, I did lay my head down. I didn't cry but it was close. So I get full credit. Amazing.

So the way our test scheduling works is we have our practical and oral on Friday and then a 100 question written exam on Monday. So I take a break Friday night from sheer exhaustion. Even if I had studied nothing would have stayed. I study Saturday with a quick break to take in a movie with my sister. Sunday I am making dinner for my friends as a pretest meal, put my pork chops in a marinade and head to the library to study. Laura, my friend, is sitting there and we study separately for about 2 hours when we both say we are hungry and head to her apartment to split a box of macaroni and cheese. I ask her to check my email since most emails at the school are blocked (we are censured at medical school). So in my email is a very not nice email from my ex-boyfriend accusing me of saying things to people that I never talk to anymore about conversations that we had and got back to his current girlfriend. Wow. It hurt. First off, we dated for 5 years and he's my best friend and he says I'm his, so he should know that I would never say things like that to people. At that point, I just started crying because I couldn't believe it. I went on with the rest of my day attempting to study but it wasn't the best effort. Had dinner with my friends (the pork chops were pretty good, might I add) and went back to the library to study as a group.

Now during all of this, I am trying to figure out how what he and I had been emailing about had gotten back to her. It was impossible. We had talked about MAYBE seeing each other this weekend since we both were going to be at our parents' houses. I told my two friends that we might see each other but no one else. There was no way details of our conversation had gotten back to her. So I began thinking, has she been checking his email accounts? Moving on through the evening, I'm studying and I'm managing to keep up pretty well as in I really know my anatomy (keep this in mind for later). Then I hear a vibration. We all look at each other to see who it is. I'm guessing it isn't me because I rarely get calls on my cell phone. But it is me! There pops up my ex's number on my cell phone. I sneak out of the library and sit and talk to him for half an hour. The email he sent me, was a venting. Apparently he had gotten in a fight with his girlfriend about the emails we had exchanged and the fact that we still talk and she doesn't like it. So he is moving out of her place and home. Wow. What a change in my day. I felt bad about the fact that this was making his life hard, but I have to say, in all honesty, I was relieved and happy. So I went back to the library and continued studying and went home to sleep.

Next morning, test time. I take the first exam with 25 questions and walk out feeling like I didn't do well. I got back in to take the 100 question exam and I'm cruising along thinking that all is going well. I get done a little early, which scares me but I checked my answers several times so there was nothing I could do. I hand in my test and leave. An hour of class after lunch and then to doctor's appointments for my teeth. Tuesday comes along and so do our grades. The first test I did excellent on (the one I didn't think I did well on). The second...failed by 2 points. Now if we rewind to the whole I really knew my anatomy thing, you have to be wondering what the hell. Yeah, me too. I know my anatomy, I can recite it to you now if you asked. So what the hell. Well I don't know. I'm gonna review the exam to see what the hell happened but it's so sad. But anyway, I am once again picking myself up from another failure. Wow. It really is amazing. I can still pass anatomy, there's still about half of the points left and I'm only failing the class by two points, but still after all the studying I did, even with my breaks, it doesn't make sense.

So let's fast forward a little more. I don't hear from my ex all week which is odd because I expected to hear from him about his living arrangements and where he was going to live after he left his now ex-girlfriend's. Thursday night, his cell phone is disconnected and I begin to worry (I'm a worrier). Finally on Friday I call his parents and he is there and there permanently (well at least until he finds a new place). It's his birthday and he's not doing anything for it so I offer to make him a birthday dinner. He and our friend that is currently living with him come over for a mean baked spaghetti and strawberry shortcake. Not bad if I do say so myself.

Now this is where it get's even more interesting. He tells me the story and apparently he's happy he's out of there. She of course blames it all on me. If you check his blog, she even made some weird comment saying that his ex "sabotaged the relationship." I imagine I am the ex they were talking about....but sabotage is just silly. You ask anyone who knows me and they would tell you that I probably don't even know how to sabotage a relationship. And I don't. I wouldn't even know where to begin if I really wanted to. He's my best friend and all I really wanted to do was talk to my best friend and the person that yes quite frankly, I still love. He gave me a kiss on the forehead and a hug to thank me for dinner and the present I got him (yes I know I am pathetic) but at that moment I said to myself, it's still there, that love I have for him. Our first kiss was a kiss on the forehead and I felt the same about that kiss and I did about this one, only different because it's grown and developed now. So to top off my week, an even better knowledge that I still love my ex and all I can be right now, and maybe for the rest of our lives, is a friend.

So now, if I really want to pass anatomy, I should study, but maybe I'll cuddle with my dog for a little while first.