A few random things...

So today is a scary day...today was lecture 70 of anatomy. In other words...anatomy lectures are over. Very very scary. I am completely on my own now. I have 1 week and 1 day to pass anatomy. Now, I should say, if I fail anatomy for some reason, they don't automatically kick you out. But mentally, I'm not sure I could go through anatomy AGAIN! I'm barely making it through the first time. But we'll see. It's still possible that I can pull it off. Very possible in fact so we'll see.

Meanwhile, I am very very sick of my family interfering in everything! They constantly are asking about whether I am studying, my grades, and everything else that is really none of their business. Now I have lived away from home for 4 years now. I have to say my mother bought some of my groceries, but I was responsible for the cooking of them and generally getting through life 300 miles from home. I can handle it. When I agreed to move in with my sister, it was only going to be for this first year of school. I told everyone that. I want to be able to have my own apartment next year. Now when the topic comes up everyone is so offended that I am still sticking with this plan. No one seems to understand that I will be 23 by then and I need some independence. I would like my independence now. If I wouldn't have felt horrible turning my sister down when she asked me, I would be in my own apartment this year. But I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. It's frustrating that they basically won't let me go. You know, I have basically an entire apartment in boxes sitting in my grandmother's garage. I could have my own apartment but instead all of my stuff is in boxes. How horrible of me to want to be an adult instead of always living with someone who wants to take care of them.

Lastly, I really feel like I wasn't completely honest in my last post. I said October 11th had become a day like any other. But I really feel like it definitely isn't. The simple fact that I had even thought about having to drown my sorrows with my friends Ben and Jerry shows that it isn't a normal day. Instead I had to force myself to make it a day that could be productive. Unfortunately so much of my life is about productivity right now. October 11th was the start of 5 years and a little more, that is a period I won't ever regret no matter what happens in the future. But as we all know, I am an eternal optimist and have been throughout the entire happenings of the past year. So Oct. 11th was actually a happy day, but also a kind of sad day in that I couldn't spend it with who I wanted to. But once again, optimism is a good way to live your life (as long as you aren't naive). And if you read the comments of my last post, you'll know that a week before the 11th there was a day of extreme happiness and extreme comfort. Possibly the happiest I've been in a while. I also got the best 2 hours of sleep that I've had since May.