If Jon and I were still together, today would be our 6th anniversary. However, since we are no longer together, it's basically just another day. I have a friend who started dating her boyfriend of 6 six years on October 12th (tomorrow) and so tomorrow would be there 6th anniversay...if they were still together. Laura mutually parted with her boyfriend a few weeks ago and now has a new boyfriend (she likes to refer to him as her man piece). She and her ex lost interest in each other a while ago, but her new boyfriend I think was the catalyst to them calling it off. The purpose of the story was that we today we were going to get together and eat Ben and Jerry's and commiserate over our relationships, or lack thereof. Last night I walked up to her and asked if we were still doing our Ben and Jerry's. Laura said well what do you think. After thinking about it for a second, I said "I don't really think we need to. I'm okay." She responded that she was excellent (and who wouldn't be, he just made her dinner and they had a very special "couple" moment). So our Ben and Jerry's night was called off because we are both doing okay or better than okay as the case may be.
Sometimes I wonder what happened to our relationship. People used to tell us all the time how lucky we were to have each other and what a great couple we were. We loved each other very much. I still love him. This was the kind of love where I could look into his eyes and see the love there. I know it sounds cheesy and cliche, but it's true. If you read my older blogs, there's the story about the rocks in the container. And I think that's what happened. We lost sight of our big rocks. I don't know what he thinks, but I know that I lost sight of the big rocks. Getting involved in everything else and forgetting about the time a relationship needs. Getting so busy that there's barely enough time to cook food or do laundry and most definitely not enough time for some "quality time." So that's my theory. But hey...I could be wrong.
So since today has become basically like any other, I have to do my laundry and study for the next round of anatomy tests. Maybe I'll actually be able to pass this one.
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I woke up the morning of October 11th and my first thought was of you, and the thought reoccurred throughout the day. For me, it wasn't "just another day." Honestly, it was better than "just another day." And I like the metaphor about the rocks in the container. Definitely agree.
Regardless, the past is the past, but you make it sound as though the future is set in stone. As though we are a "was" not a "will be" and I can't say I completely agree with such an assessment. Obviously anything can happen, but I can recall a day in the past couple of weeks in which I felt at ease and happy, comfortable, and loved. Maybe you remember such a day...
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