So yeah...

I couldn't think of a good title for this post, but the one we have works. So yes, before I go on, I should be studying right now, but I have to say I'm not really in the mood to. So I am taking a short break and then I will get back to it....only problem is, short break is going on 2 hours now. Crap. My "short break" caused me to forget about the laundry I was doing, so now some of my dress pants sat in the dryer for too long and are wrinkled. Great...now I get to iron those.
So I was looking at some pictures of myself today. They were taken in early March and I remember one of the pictures wasn't horrible, so I was going to use it as a profile picture for here and Facebook. Huge mistake. Yeah the picture isn't bad, except it was 40 pounds ago. Meaning I weighed 40 more pounds. I was digusting. I'm not saying that all overweight people are disgusting, I'm just saying the fact that I let myself get that far, disgusts me. The fact that I was so disgusting sure explains a lot of things. I think it plays a large role in the reason why someone who loved me for 5 years, doesn't anymore. I think it can in part explain why I don't really have friends, and am just beginning to actually make friends (after a 40 pound loss). This is some what convoluted I know, but in my mind it makes sense. Of course, that could also be my personality, but I don't think my personality is that bad...but hey ya never know. So yeah 40 pounds ago....I was disgusting. I still look at myself naked (even though I try to avoid that) and say "wow...you're disgusting" but hey it's not as bad as it used to be I guess.
So since I had my wisdom teeth out, the weirdest thing has happened. I cry...a lot. Now, I have always been a bit of a crier. I cry at movies and sometimes songs make me cry, but I usually have a reason for crying. This past summer, I cried... a lot, more than any one person should probably cry, but I was getting better and still...I had a reason. Now, I just start crying, everything makes me cry. Sometimes I cry and I have no idea why I am crying. Maybe my body is sad that it no longer has wisdom teeth, or it missed the two baby teeth that got pulled. Maybe it's the drugs that they gave me....I'm not sure. I just know that I cry and it's irritating.
But anyway, I really should get back to studying. I have to say though, I have lost a little bit of the respect I had for medical school. It happened last week when one of the professors put up a picture of himself with his hands over a patient, with light coming from his hands...the healing light. He claims that the picture hasn't been edited in anyway, except there's all this fog in the picture. So wait...he was doing a PE in a foggy atmosphere...not the best place to do it...not enough light or a stable environment. I'm sorry, but well...I believe in the power of healing but that guy might actually be a quack. And I just hope none of the administration has a thing with reading random blogs on here.

I am done ranting and going back to studying.